Facing challenges to raise children |12 October 2013
Parents are faced with many challenges to raise their children because of the socio-economic environment and techno-lifestyle which create some dilemmas between parents’ expectations and children’s wishes or needs.
This article serves as a help on how to make your child remain on track without causing some emotional or personality damage to your growing child.
• Use more time to coach through words and action with immediate consequences;
• Avoid shouting or howling before your children – be more interactive with empathy, calmness and firmness;
• Excessive emotion or language will not help. This will simply teach your child how to answer back or how to be argumentative when confronted;
• Communicate values such as love, honesty, responsibility etc. Let your son join groups, teams, clubs where he will learn and put into practice living values and show the interest of what your son is doing in whichever group he has joined;
• Recognise that any of your words or actions has a direct impact on the character building of your child. A child is but a copy of parents’ behaviour
• A child is quick to sense a contradiction between words and actions. That is why it is good for your child to be reared by at least one adult and one home to avoid loopholes;
• Make sure that your child understands you, you only i.e. remain firm to your conviction and principles while putting in mind point 2 above;
• Be specific. Explain the reasons for your principles, rules, regulations, and stick to the rules and regulation – once again avoid any escaping loopholes – three homes is not a good idea;
• Be consistent. Make it clear what you want your child to be a respectable and responsible person; Thus, know his or her interests, friends, likes and dislikes. Use punishment and rewards to mould the behaviour of your children. For instance, going to grandma’s place can be considered as a reward if, and only if, your child is doing well at school and at home. In this case, avoid unrealistic threats such as if you do not do this you will not go to your grandma... rather say if you do this you will surely go to grandma’s place;
• Get facts. Know why your boy is acting like that and do the modification and correction for the solution – this can be done through trial and error or rather by using probable means until you get the essence of ‘bad behaviour’.
Contributed by Care