Filling the cracks |03 September 2011

Lizards in this context are likened to the devil and his agents.  Any crack you allow is an open invitation to the devil to have access to your home.

The Bible says, “Neither give place to the devil.”  Ephesians 4:27
Note, very seriously, that commitment is fundamental to success in family life.  Where there is no commitment there will be no trust, and distrust leads to cracks in the marriage.  Cracks left unfilled become canyons!  In other words, any crack you leave unattended to will, with time, deteriorate until divorce becomes inevitable.

Watch that Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness is one major crack in the wall of many families today.  It causes couples to hold on to issues, offences, misunderstandings and various hurts of the past, and before long there is a rift so wide that tears the family apart. 
Unforgiveness is likened in families to cancer.  “Family cancer”, someone puts it.  Just as cancer eats up the body, many families have been eaten up and torn apart by unforgiveness.

Don’t give room to bitterness and unforgiveness.  Learn to instantly forgive each other.  One interesting thing about anger and bitterness is that it is you who suffer its consequences, not the person you are angry with. 

In fact, it is a medical fact that when you are angry, bitter or live in unforgiveness your body system is set at an imbalance state, which ultimately destroys your health.  A researcher has been quoted saying that one minute of depression suppresses your immune system by six hours, whereas one minute of laughter boosts your immune system by twenty-four hours.  So, take heed to God’s word and learn to destroy every root of bitterness and offence before it gets a chance to destroy you.

Formalise your relationship
Another crack that could affect the success of your family is that of an illegal union.  Some couples have been living together for years and have even had children together without a proper marriage:  no dowry has been paid, nor have they had any form of formal engagement.

The account of the first marriage recorded in Genesis chapter two clearly shows us that a form of formal wedding was conducted in the Garden of Eden.  Adam did not just rise up to find Eve wandering about in another part of the garden, take her home, and they two started living together.  The Bible records in Gen 2: 22 that God “…brought her unto the man.”  God had to physically deliver her to Adam.

Marriage is the basis for the family.  If you must enjoy a successful family, then you must first be married.  Pay the dowry, if it has not been paid.  Dowry is a form of appreciating the parents of the girl for giving their daughter to you in marriage.  Understand it is not buying the person but appreciating the parents.  The payment of some dowry is scriptural. 
The Bible says in Mark 12:17,

“And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and to God the things that are God’s.”

Dowry payment is the right of the bride’s family, so ensure you give it to them.  The book of Genesis records a very graphic picture of a typical wedding, and all that is required to be done.  Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for his son, Isaac, and he was able to locate Rebekah after God prospered his journey.
On the above account the Bible records in Genesis 24:51-53

“Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken.  And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, bowing himself to the earth.  And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things.”

Notice that precious things were given to Laban, who was at this point acting as the head of the family, and Rebekah’s mother also.  However, I must mention that in the payment of dowry, you should watch the kind of things you present as dowry.  Anything you know will affect your Christian testimony should never be given.

Having performed all that is required, you must also ensure you obtain parental blessings.  There is something about the blessings your parents pronounce on you that sticks to you until all their good wishes be established in your life.  Abraham’s servant did not just grab Rebekah and disappeared with her.  The Bible records in Genesis 24:58-60

“And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.  And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham's servant, and his men.  And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.”

Another very important aspect of formalising your marriage is to acknowledge the place of a holy Christian wedding.  In Genesis 2:22 we see God’s practical involvement in the institution of marriage.  He by himself gave out Eve to Adam.  The Bible says: 

“And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.”

It will therefore, be unsafe to imagine you can survive the wickedness and attacks of the devil on the marriage institution without God.  The Bible says in the last days, the devil will do more wickedly Rev. 12:12;  2Tim 3:1, and since he recognises that the peace of the earth is dependent on the family, he is attacking the family institution with all vehemence.  This accounts for the alarming rate of family breakdowns today.

God is your Father, and only a bastard would desire to go outside his father’s house to get married.  The presence of God makes all the difference in life.  What happens at a Christian wedding is that God is invited to be a part of the union, occupying His primary place in your union.  That cannot be overlooked.  So, ensure you formalise your marriage with a proper Christian wedding.

In case you are already living together or you were never married in the church, it is important that you get your pastor to arrange to bless your union, even if you cannot have an open church wedding like it is done with new couples.
It is also important to have a proper legal documentation of your union.  In God’s dealing with man, He always ensure there is a proof, which acts as a constant reminder of the terms of the covenant.  A legal backup for your marriage is not only a safety device, as the world would consider it.  It is simply a point of contact to remind God that you have fulfilled all righteousness concerning your marriage, and therefore the enemy must have no access into your family.

Formalising your union with your spouse can help eliminate several in-roads through which the devil would have penetrated your family, thus why many work so hard and yet have nothing to show for it, because there is a leakage in their home.  Some even suffer great health challenges, because the devil has found a point of justification against them.
Think on this!

Mother Theresa, the great saintly woman of God and founder of the Order of the Missionaries of Charity, when asked what the solution to world peace was, said, “Let everyone go home and love their families.”  She was literally saying that the chaos in the world today, has its foundation in the way the family structure and family values are being misunderstood and misused.

By Pastor David Koin
Winners’ Chapel International
www.winnerschapelseychelles.org

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