Covenant responsibilities of husbands and wives-The husband’s responsibilities |10 September 2011

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.  For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:… 

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.   Ephesians 5:23-33 

The man is the principal figure in the family unit.  God reckons with his position as head of the home and holds him responsible for any mishap that occurs in it.  For instance, when things went wrong in the Garden of Eden, God did not question the woman.  Rather, Adam was the one held responsible.

The man is the principal actor in every home.  Until the husband accepts his responsibility as head, there can be nothing like success in that family.  But the man has only one master key in running and making the home successful.  Love, love responsibility to be precise.

Love the master key
The Love responsibility is the master key in a man’s hand.  Love is the instrument a man uses to make his wife a glorious woman, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing.  Therefore, the making of any wife is in the hands of her husband.  Do you want a glorious wife without spot or wrinkle, holy and pure?  Then, love your wife as your own body!  By so doing, you would have created a glorious wife.  Love is the price you pay for a glorious home.  It must be without hypocrisy, but rather seeing good even while assessing a wrong situation.

A man should never be found speaking negative about his wife in any way and with whosoever, or be found setting a trap for her in order to deal with her on any issue.  Man, if you want a very submissive wife, be a super loving husband, that is the quickest way to win your wife.  Once a man loves his wife as Christ loves the Church, the devil cannot gain access to his home.  Love is the summary of God’s covenant responsibility for the man.

Practical expression of Love
One of the ways a husband should express his love for his wife is by giving.  A husband should willingly and joyfully give gifts to his wife.  How much in quantity is given is not the issue.  He should rather accept his responsibility by joyfully giving his wife gifts.  That is what counts.

Some men shy away from their responsibilities and don’t give their wives home-keeping allowance, under the guise that their wives are working.  This is not right!  The word of God says:

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.  1 Timothy 5:8 

It is the man’s responsibility to provide for the home.  When a man stops looking after his household, his life becomes worse than that of an unbeliever’s.  The responsibility of providing for the home is the man’s. 

It must be accepted joyfully, and executed excitedly.  Be concerned about your wife and children’s welfare.  Some men leave home not concerned whether their family members have eaten or not.  This is a violation of covenant obligations, and is very risky.  No man has any right to wear new clothes, when his family’s needs are not met. 

You should set aside some amount of money from whatever you earn, to cater for the personal needs of your wife and children.  Prayer is not the way to marital success, neither is attending marriage seminars.  The way to marriage success is by accepting responsibility for your home.

A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.
Proverbs 13:22 

Love is also expressed in communication.  Love should be behind every observation you make.  When you correct, rebuke or instruct your wife, it should be love-motivated.  At no time should any unhealthy word proceed out of your mouth to her or your children.

Husbands are under an obligation to honour their wives.  This makes beating, humiliating or maltreating the woman a taboo.  God expects you to deal with your wife according to knowledge.  The knowledge of the truth will put you on top; such that even if your wife had a terrible character, by the application of the knowledge of the truth, you can change her.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according  to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of grace of life; that your prayer be not hindered.  1 Peter 3:7

It is the man’s responsibility to be involved in his wife’s affairs.  God has given you control as the head of the home; be a smart driver, otherwise that family is heading for an accident.  For instance, if you notice that your wife is downcast, you should ask her what the matter is.  You must not open up your home to malice or discord.  You can prevail over them all by knowledge.

The wife’s obligations
What God did at creation clearly reflects the position of the woman in the home.  He took a rib from the side of the man to make the woman.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;   Genesis 2:21 

The fact that the bone was not extracted from Adam’s head tells you that the man’s position as head is incontestable.  Also, the fact that the bone was not taken from Adam’s feet proves that the wife is not to be trodden under foot or trampled upon as a slave.

When a woman allows her husband to fulfill his covenant role of headship, she has automatically given him room to play his God given role.  Often, the problem with many women is that they do not trust their husbands to make the right decisions.  They keep struggling to make their points, so there is constant strife in the home.  I wish women will strive for proofs, and not points.

If the man will love perfectly and the woman submit perfectly, then they will have a perfect home.  Look at something interesting in the Word of God below;

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.  Ephesians 5:33

The key word here is reverence.  Once a woman lays hold on that key, she has succeeded in unlocking her husband’s heart.  You revere your husband when his word counts in your ears and heart, and his instructions matter to you.
  Note that the submission I am talking about is not slavery, but submission in love.  See what the Bible says;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  Titus 2:4-5

Submission has to be done in love, not out of fear or threats.  When it is rooted in love, it is perfect and brings God’s presence down in the home.  Also, note that if a woman doesn’t submit to her husband, she would submit to someone else.  The same is true for the man.  If he doesn’t love his wife, he would love someone else.  It is, therefore, important that both husbands and wives fulfill their covenant responsibilities to one another.  The end product will be success in family life.

Joined responsibility

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.  1Corinthians 7:3-5 

The joined responsibility is called romance.  Romance greatly facilitates success in marriage.  Unfortunately, this is where many Christians run into problems.  When a home lacks romance, it starts suffering disintegration, as romance is one of the vital reasons for setting up the home.  Many marriage teachers may not agree with this, but this is what the word of God says, and I absolutely agree with the Word of God.  See below;

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Corinthians 7:1-2 

One of the reasons for marriage is “to avoid fornication.”  Romance is God’s tool for preserving marriage.  The word “have” doesn’t only mean to marry; it also means let him enjoy his own wife.  Rendering “due benevolence” means to give him or her the benefit of marriage, which is your body.  A husband and a wife are to offer their bodies to one another.  If a woman does not give her body to her husband, another person will, and vice versa.

But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.  1Corinthians 7:9 
God put in man a sexual desire, which should only be satisfied in marriage.  That way, the desire will not be destructive.  A sexually inactive marriage is heading for destruction.  This is where, I believe, some Christians have opened the door to trouble in their homes.  The man is not available for his wife, so she looks somewhere else.
 The wife is not available for the man, so he goes somewhere else, because the burning must be satisfied.

A healthy romance between a husband and wife makes for a healthy home and relationship.  Romance is a great facilitator of a successful marriage.  When a home stops being romantic, it starts to suffer devastation. 

The moment you stop desiring your spouse, you are already falling apart from each other.  Lester Sumrall wrote a book entitled, 60 Things God Said  About Sex.  These are men who had and enjoyed Christian homes.

Money does not make a home; obedience is what does.  In pursuit of money, many people have disregarded these important factors and teamed up with Satan to ruin their homes.

By Pastor David Koin
Winners’ Chapel International
www.winnerschapelseychelles.org