Reflection |24 January 2015

On Tuesday January 13, the country was stunned by the dreadful news that a 32-year-old man has been detained by the police and is being accused of the murder of his nine-year-old son, whom he allegedly drowned. The news spread through the country like wild fire, and people were finding it hard to comprehend the kind of conviction or insanity it would take for a father to bring himself to drown his own child.

Children are supposed to bring happiness into the life of their parents. It is true nowadays there are children that are born out of various non-traditional circumstances, such as out of wedlock, flings, one night stands, and even affairs, but no matter what circumstance the child maybe born under, he/she has no choice over that matter. It is therefore distasteful that anyone would treat them badly for things which they have no control over.

Nevertheless it is becoming more common to find children ending up paying for whatever disagreements that their parents have with one another. They find themselves caught up in issues which should normally be none of their direct concern. I say that it’s none of their direct concern because it is common place that kids are quite often indirectly affected by the consequences of their parents actions, whether through separation, domestic violence, alcohol or drug abuse, just to name a few. Although, there are parents who directly and often purposefully cause grievance to their children to get at the other parent or simply because the child is so much more easier a target to prey upon.

People who are prone to such unsavoury acts of abuse are often so blinded by their bitterness towards the other parents that they let go of one of the most primordial instincts of any creature which to protect your young from harm. Animals in the wild would lay down their lives in order to protect their young and most human parents would do the same, but for some special cases.

You may find that a parent will purposefully neglect one or all of his/her children simply because he/she harbours resentment towards the other parent, either because he/she left to be with someone else, or because the parent is not making any contribution towards that child. I cannot say what causes some people to have such contorted reasoning and lack of conscience that they are able to commit such hateful acts upon their own children, only that it is happening, even here in the Seychelles.

I cannot think of any reason why a parent would mortally harm his/her child. What goes on between you and your spouse, or you and your ex, should not give you any reason to cause any harm to your child. What transpires to you in your relationship gives you no cause to mistreat your child. Issues caused by adults, between adults, should be settled between adults and children should be kept out of it as much as possible.

So this is a plea to everyone. It is very important to be aware of what is going on with the children in your community. Let’s not distance ourselves from instances when we know that there are children who are being neglected, mistreated, abused or taken advantage of. Don’t say that it is not your concern, because you would be wrong. Knowing when something wrong is being done to someone and doing nothing about it makes you just as guilty. So never be afraid to speak out, because you might just save a child’s life.

K. B.