Baby 101 |13 February 2016

Parenthood comes with numerous responsibilities. It isn’t something to be taken lightly or to choose at a whim. There are times when it presents itself unexpectedly, and there are times when it is something well planned out. No matter the circumstances, you still have nine months in order to prepare yourself mentally, socially and financially for the child who is to come. You need to adjust your mindset, and realise that from then on every decision you make requires that you balance it against the benefits of your child. His/her wellbeing needs to become your utmost priority in life.

Every child comes with his/her own challenges. No child is exactly the same, not even twins. Each has their own little needs that require that extra little attention. You have the one that only wants to breastfeed, and the one who only likes the bottle. The one who sleeps well during the day, but not so much at night, and the one who doesn’t sleep at all during the day but is a sound sleeper at night. They are, to say the least, unpredictable. No matter if you have three children and expecting your fourth one, there is always the chance that the fourth is going to bring a whole new game to the table, and a whole new set of challenges.

It is clear from my recent experience that with babies there is no simply just one way of getting about things, but in fact the challenge is to find the right way of doing things for your baby. Now I don’t mean what is easiest for you, but rather what the baby prefers, and mind you, their way don’t always line up with your way. Some baby can be very temperamental, and when they don’t like something, they make sure you know that they don’t. So yeah, you should prepare those eardrums for some serious wailing.

One thing I’ve noticed here in Seychelles is that anything to do with babies will cost you an arm and a leg. The best thing for you to do if you can is to buy your baby things abroad. There are some baby shops here that sell items at an exaggerated price. It is good at times for you to scout for what you are intending on buying in different shops. Again from my own experience I have found that different shops have prices for the same item that vary greatly, which begs the question, how do they come up with those far-fetched prices? Not all diapers are expensive, but babies do go through them extremely fast, especially during the first five to six weeks. After which I’ve noticed that then it starts to reduce, especially the passing of faeces, while the urinating continues more or less at the same rate. Of course as mentioned earlier, different babies, different experience.

Ready yourself for some disappointments as well. You’ve bought that awesome, expensive baby car seat for him/her, and then after a while you realise that he/she doesn’t really like being put in the car seat. You’re realising that baby is gaining weight fast and that your upper body strength isn’t able to keep up with it, so you go buy the most comfortable baby carrier bag you can find, but baby doesn’t find it as comfortable as when he/she is your hand. Somewhere along the way, you’ll realise that a large amount of your money went into those good ideas you had that just wasn’t such a good idea for him/her...

Then there is the issue of clothes. Newborn clothes are just not worth buying in my opinion. Our baby grew out of hers in a matter of two weeks. Some barely even fit at birth. You need to realise that even when labels say for 0-3 months it might not even fit your baby. So be smart. At first buy, before your baby is born, don’t buy too many clothes. Keep some money on the side to later buy clothes when he/she is born. Because it’s only then that you know his/her size. At two months old even a little earlier, our baby was able to fit into some 3-6 months clothes, because she grew taller and wider faster than some other babies.

Another thing that needs to be mentioned is that, during the pregnancy, the parents receive a lot of help and information about the development of the baby inside the mother from the midwives at the ANC (Antenatal Clinic), but some women, especially those having their first baby, say that during and after birth, the information or explanations suddenly become scarce, and if you don’t ask or if you don’t know how to ask, then there are vital things that should be known, that are not relayed to the first time mums. Little but necessary information about the mother’s self-care, especially those who need stitches after giving birth, and ways of preventing your babies from developing jaundice afterwards. Because it does happen that after you and your baby have left the hospital, he/she might develop jaundice.

Jaundice is, according to Google’s definition, “a medical condition with yellowing of the skin or whites of the eyes, arising from excess of the pigment bilirubin and typically caused by obstruction of the bile duct, by liver disease, or by excessive breakdown of red blood cells.”

How do you know that your baby have jaundice or not? Well the first thing to do is to check that the colour of the baby’s skin or white of the eyes are not yellow. Sometimes this will not be too apparent, except at the corner of your baby’s eye, and when you press your finger on his/her skin, you will notice that the skin retains a yellowish print where your finger was.

Now a simple thing to do that should be told at the postnatal ward, on how to keep the jaundice away, is to simply make sure that your baby have enough, but not too much, exposure to sunlight, especially the sunlight from between 6am to 9am. If you notice that your baby is developing jaundice after you have been discharged, the above mentioned precaution might be of help, but do not expose the baby to direct sunlight for more than 10 minutes a day, and also doctors will advise you against exposure of sunlight after 10am. Usually after a week of exposure to sunlight the jaundice would have disappeared. If it doesn’t or if you notice that the yellowish colour becomes more and more pronounced, then take your baby to a doctor.

Another thing you may find beneficial later on is that you need to get your baby accustomed to bottle feeding earlier than two months. Because the chance is, by the time you’re ready to go back to work, he/she would have not yet adapted to bottle feeding. This will certainly not do, especially if your workplace is far from where he/she is being cared for. Believe me, the later you start, the more difficult it becomes for he/she to adapt to bottle feeding. Then you’ll end up spending on test baby formula, in an attempt to find out which one he/she prefers, or buying different bottles in an attempt to find the one that feels right for him/her. It can be a very stressful time, especially when you know that mum has little or no choice but to go to work, when her three-month maternity leave is over.

Ideally it would have been much better if mothers here in Seychelles, like in some other countries, would get six or 10 months of maternity leave. This would give ample time for them to prepare their baby to accept bottle feeding, but until then, a bottle feeding in between breastfeeding won’t hurt. Of course breastfeeding and breast milk is much better, because breastfeeding reduces the chance for the baby to get gas, and breast milk has the antibodies from the mother which strengthens the babies’ own antibodies, and they are therefore less likely to get sick.

As you can see, parenthood is indeed a serious responsibility that requires patience by the bundle, and lots and lots of time, love and affection. A baby is a gift that changes your perception of life and strengthens your will, because you realise that it’s not just your needs that matter, but that of the child, and understand that his/her wellbeing is and should always be at the top of you priority.

Contributed by K. Bonnelame