Is corporal punishment a good discipline option for parents? |27 May 2017

As Seychelles is about to observe Child Protection Week during the coming days, the National Council for Children (NCC) wants to renew its commitment to the prevention of child abuse.  This means educating the community, making everyone aware of the signs of child maltreatment and taking appropriate steps to safeguard children by reporting concerns and connecting families with the help and educational programme they may need.

Today in our country, a parent’s right to discipline his children with physical force remains a deeply held belief regardless of the rest of the world’s view about corporal punishment and all the research that has been conducted suggesting its harmful effects.

Professor Goeffrey Harris from the International Centre for Nonviolence at Durban University of Technology, South Africa presented strong arguments against corporal punishment at the Seychelles Institute of Management (SIM) last Monday.

He said  that all the evidence coming out of research across a number of countries are showing that corporal punishment  which by nature  are violent acts lead to “statistically observable increase in mental disorders”.

And that countries (like the Scandinavians) which for years now have abolished completely corporal punishment are doing very well on the “Happpiness index” each year.

In Seychelles, our society’s acceptance of hitting or not ‘sparing the rod’ as a form of discipline, has the effect of increasing the incidence of child abuse in our culture. Corporal punishment and child abuse are both on the same violence continuum. Many parents continue to use corporal punishment as a discipline tool. There are a number of reasons why this is so.
These parents may:

• not be aware of or do not believe the experts who say that corporal punishment is harmful;

• erroneously believe that hitting is an effective way to raise well-behaved children. Here is where the phrase “I’m doing it for your own good” comes in as a rationalization;

• believe that children are best motivated by fear and that children should be reflexively obedient to their parents;

• believe that children who are not punished by physical force are not being disciplined. They may not be aware of alternative, more effective forms of discipline;

• believe religious interpretations/dictums which teach that children are inherently bad and that they need to use physical force to mould their children into acceptable human beings;

• believe that since their parents hit them and “they turned out alright,” then it will “work” when they use it on their children (Violence begets violence);

• have difficulties in controlling their angry impulses. They lash out without thinking first about what else they could do;

• not understand facts about normal child development. Consequently, they expect their children to act more maturely than they are capable of behaving. These unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration and anger.

Children whose parents use corporal punishment are more likely to engage in future domestic violence and to perpetuate the cycle in their families by hitting their own children because that was what was taught to them. Once again, violence begets violence.

Although parents may defend their use of corporal punishment by stating that it “works” in stopping the unwanted behaviour, studies have shown that such compliance is in fact short-lived.

The negative results of using corporal punishment indicate that any short-term benefit in temporary compliance that comes from frightening a child with the threat or act of being hit carries too high an emotional price. Following is a summary of the negative effects of corporal punishment on children:

• Hitting and other forms of corporal punishment shame the child. This causes the child to feel that there is inherently something wrong with him, rather than understanding that it was his behaviour that was wrong. Instead of focusing on the mistakes he might have made, he is filled with shame.

 • Corporal punishment undermines the development of trust and a sense of security in the parent/child relationship. Children need their parents’ guidance but may resist admitting to mistakes out of concern that there will be “a price to be paid”.

• It teaches children that hitting is an acceptable response when angry and models violence as an acceptable way of solving problems. They do not learn constructive ways to resolve differences.

• It teaches children that when in an argument, a bigger stronger person can hit a smaller weaker person. Later on, in trying to cope with the complexities of human relationships, they resort to some of their earliest, most powerful and profound lessons from childhood: that “might makes right”.

• Children learn that the people who love them also will hurt them. This causes confusion and anxiety for them and can ultimately lead to their becoming involved in abusive relationships with peers and other close relationships throughout their childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.

• Children do not learn right from wrong and they don’t develop their own internal controls. If children whose parents hit them can get away with something or if someone isn’t nearby to monitor their behaviour, they will do what they can get away with. In their mind, that becomes what is “right.” They do not learn self-control and do not learn to monitor their own behaviour. It actually makes children more likely to engage in the forbidden behaviour when they think they won’t get caught.

• Children whose parents use the rod often end up feeling angry at their parents instead of thinking about what they did wrong; in other words, they externalise the responsibility for their behaviour rather than feel accountable for it. For example, a child whose mother hit him for breaking a window pane may think, “I can’t believe she did that to me,” rather than owning up to what he did by thinking “I shouldn’t have been throwing the ball in the house.”

• Children whose parents use corporal punishment are more likely to be aggressive with peers and even to become bullies. Violence has been modelled for them and is spread throughout their social circles.

• Corporal punishment consistently contributes to lowered self-esteem, which can result in poor academic performance, a lack of resiliency, and poor social skills. These children are less spontaneous, have difficulty concentrating, and are afraid to try new things out of fear that it will result in more punishment

This does not mean that all children whose parents use corporal punishment will have problems or become a menace to society; the damaging effects of hitting fall on a continuum – the more severely corporal punishment is used, the greater will be the damaging effects ‘

These negative effects can be mitigated by other conditions in the household, like the amount of nurturing a child receives.  Children who are raised by supportive and caring parents will generally exhibit fewer negative consequences and have a greater chance of growing up to become successful members of society, in spite of the fact that they were hit as children.

Parents who hit frequently and harshly often have not learned self-control themselves. It is ironic that in some cases, the parent who is using physical force is often more out of control than the misbehaving child.

“Violent behaviour is learned,” said Professor Harris. “It can be prevented from the very beginning, and prevention must start with the adults who fill children’s lives.”

But what can parents Do? – You can learn more about this if you enrol for a parenting workshop at the National Council for Children or watch this space for some tips next week.