Life as a young father • “To have the world dedicating a day to celebrate fathers, gives me such pride as a young father” |07 July 2018

In commemoration of Father’s Day last month, Jeremie Elizabeth, a 31-year-old resident of Au Cap, shares his journey as a young father and how he and his wife June cope, despite not having all the wisdom.

Q: Tell us about your background.

A: I am from Takamaka and I am the first born in a family of four. I went to Takamaka primary and Anse Royale secondary schools, after which I completed one year at the Industrial Training Centre (ITC), which is now known as SIT, where I did a ‘Certificate in Basic Electronics’.

I started working straight after that as a storekeeper at Banyan Tree Hotel, Seychelles. After 13 years with the company, I am currently the Assistant Purchasing Manager.

My interest is in movies and appreciating what nature has to offer. Everybody that personally knows me will say that I’m positive, and someone who has ‘la joie de vivre’.

Q: What can you tell us about your child?

A: My daughter’s name is Abigail Elizabeth and she is three years old. She means pretty much everything to me as she is my second wish that came true; my first wish was to be married.

At her young age, Abigail is a joyful one, always giggling and being mischievous, like poking my eyes or pinching my nose in the mornings at weekends since she wakes up before everybody else.

Abigail strengthens the bond between me and my wife. She helps me to persevere through times when I feel down, as I know I need to toughen up and be strong for her.

Because of her, I am also more responsible and careful in what I say or do; kids don’t necessarily do what you tell them, but they copy what they see.

Q: What does Father’s Day mean to you and your family?

A: To have the ‘Gift of Paternity’ and to have the world dedicating a day to celebrate fathers, gives me such pride as a young father. Fathers are very important in a child's life as we serve as a source of strength and protection for them.

I believe that when someone is given recognition, it helps that individual to deliver more, hence Father’s Day gives all fathers the will power to stay focused in their duties.

As a family, we do not do anything extraordinary on this day but we usually go to church. We have a simple lunch at home, and of course I call my own dad to wish him a happy Father’s Day.

I’m the treasurer of a group of men from the Anse Aux Pins Parish called ‘Leon Des Avancher’ which is helping to make a difference by having more men involved in our parish. Like previous years, this year for Father’s Day, we animated the 9am mass celebration.

Q: What challenges do you face as a youth, bringing up your child?

A: I won’t say I have challenges as such yet. Both my wife and I are in employment and happily married, hence we are managing so far. It’s just that working in the hospitality industry makes it difficult for me to be there for all appointments that Abigail has. It’s a bit more demanding than other sectors I would say as it’s not every day that I can be home early.

I feel bad in a sense that at some point she might feel that I'm preferring my career over her, but I presume for now she's still too young to think of such things. On some weekends, she cries and this breaks my heart, but I know she'll understand someday.

Between me and my wife, however, we always figure something out to help this situation. We are fortunate that her grandma teaches at the school just next to the day care centre, hence dropping and picking her up daily is convenient for us.

Q: What is your advice to other young parents who are facing issues raising their child?

A: I’ve only been a father for 3 years hence not sure if I’ve gathered enough wisdom to advise others in parenting. But, for the financially unstable parents, I would advise that you spend wisely; making a monthly budget could help you manage your expenses.

For single parents I would advise that you keep strong, that you don’t lose hope for your child’s sake and always anticipate for the positive. I don’t believe in having an ‘unexpected child’. If you’re being intimate in your relationship, you should be wise enough to know that the fruit of love is a child, and you should know the consequences that comes with.

To those who are unable to be happy families and lack proper parenting skills, do not be ashamed to seek advice from other parents, especially from stable families, as you will get the best guidance. We are all learning, hence be open to suggestions.

Q: What have you learnt that has helped you mature as a young parent?

A: June and I were somehow ready for a child; it was bound to happen sooner or later after we got married. However, I always listen to comments and good advice, e.g. have respect for others, be humble, have courtesy, from other parents and adjust to my own.

I will point out one thing: in most cases, society blames parents for not raising their children properly when a child ends up in drugs or alcohol; I 100% do not believe this. Otherwise, I would have been one of the notorious ones myself; for us growing up was not always ‘happy days’.

Those who personally know me from small will know that my parents would argue occasionally, verbally and physically, when under influence of alcohol. However, I still remember the do’s and don’ts that would lead to a beating from my parents; they did not fail in teaching us the good way of life and one thing they always said, was “don’t be like them, but better than them”. I let this also guide me on how to mature as a young parent.

Photo sources: Jeremie Elizabeth