Fathers learn anger management skills |22 June 2013

Some of the participants at the workshop

“Anger management skills are critical tools that fathers need to keep our families together, especially when stress is invading you from all directions,” said Gerard Lim Sam, a senior counselor at the NCC.

“Losing our temper generally results in slamming doors, going out for a drink which might end up with drinking one too many, yelling at our kids, or disciplining them too harshly or it can even lead to family violence. It's important that we get the tools and techniques for controlling our emotions and also learn how to better express feelings to help override anger and stress before harming those we love most,” a participant told the press.

“Always try to find something that makes you feel better about yourself — like going for a jog, cooking your favourite dish, watching a video or reading a book. This might give less opportunity to get angry and help eliminate negativity,” said Patricia Francourt, the lead facilitator of the workshop at the NCC.

The most important thing she emphasised was not to be reactive. “Fathers must remember that invariably when the tensions are high, everyone is affected; children, wife, even friends because  sometimes anger can spill over into work. If work is a stressor already, those stresses become something you bring home. Let your partner share your load, but don't burden them with it.”

One of the participants said: “Sometimes we men don't want to admit we are not right, and we get tired of being told we're wrong or it’s just that our efforts are not recognised.”
“We learned that talking it out and explaining what is bothering us can help ease the situation.”

In exploring how fathers dealt and diffused anger, some of the men recommended playing and listening to good music, engaging in work such as gardening, or finding yourself a private corner where steam can be let off.” 

Research reveals that men with chronic anger are six times more likely to suffer heart attacks by the age of 50 and develop illnesses such as high blood pressure, muscle pain, headaches and depression.

Participants were encouraged to try deep breathing and counting techniques to slow down their reaction time to better manage their anger and also learned how to address issues in a calm considered manner.

When fathers can control their anger and learn how to address issues in a calm considerate manner, children can model the behaviour and as grown-ups will later remember their fathers’ attitude with much gratitude.

Contributed