Start of school How you can help prepare your child for their new exciting chapter in their lives |11 January 2020

Change and new challenges come with the start of the school year; some ideas on how you can help prepare your child for their next exciting chapter in their lives. Once again we contacted Lucy Barois, head teacher of the Children’s House, Bel Air, the original Montessori primary and preschool. She is a qualified Montessori teacher (nursery and primary) and teacher trainer. She holds a BA in Early Childhood Studies and MA in Educational Leadership and Management. Most importantly Miss Barois is a parent to four children, born and raised in the Seychelles. Her passion is helping small children to realise themselves as powerful beings.

Seychelles NATION: How can we ensure that our child is prepared for this change?

Lucy Barois: As children are finely tuned to routine and order, therefore change of any kind can impact their lives, development, emotional stability and self-esteem. Respecting and understanding children’s emotional development is the primary focus while helping to prepare for changes, whether it’s a new addition to the family, moving house, loss of friend/family member or being placed in a new environment; child-minder, day-care, preschool or school.

It is primarily the parent’s responsibility to ensure that the child is prepared for these changes to help them understand, feel secure and approach the change with as many age appropriate skills as possible. These may be soft skills, such as resilience and innovation or hard, academic skills. In order for a child to feel confident and able to cope with change they must be able to trust that the parent has prepared them in the best possible way to get off to the right start. This will ensure that the child has a suitable skills set to be used in the future, learning how to approach changes in a positive, confident manner, building resilience and emotionally stable adults.

Seychelles NATION: What kind of attitude should we adopt as parents?

Lucy Barois: Much of this preparation boils down to developing a positive attitude. This means adopting a positive attitude towards the change itself, instilling excitement, expectation, curiosity, inquiry and the desire to learn. It also includes a positive attitude towards people, those who will be working with your child and others within the setting; children and their parents. Most importantly adopting a positive attitude towards the working week in general; looking forward to it rather than using that ‘dreading Mondays’ tone that reaps resentment and dread rather than eagerness and enthusiasm. If you don’t feel this, at least try to pretend! If you dread Mondays so will your child and then you will have a reluctant child before you even step out of the house at the beginning of each week. Try adopting a positive approach towards each day as it comes and not always look forward to the weekends – what a sad way to lead our lives, dreading five days out of seven. Let your child know that making changes involves the whole family, that you are in this together sharing new exciting experiences.

Parents need to seize this responsibility to help the child become prepared to go to a child-minder, day-care or new school.

Seychelles NATION: What does preparation for school entails?

Lucy Barois: Getting your child involved in preparing for the new school year is important. Find out together what they will need to take along, and teach her how to pack her own bag. This will ensure she will be able to identify her belongings, instilling responsible healthy routines for later school life.

Stick a school timetable on the wall showing daily activities, so each evening your child can gather the specific items needed; swimming towel, sports clothes, etc. By sharing these responsibilities early on, your child will help develop independence from setting off to their first child-minder through to secondary school. This is also effective as a routine to be used at the end of the day, when children unpack their bags on returning home; dirty clothes in the wash basket, water bottle refilled and in the fridge, lunch box washed up and ready for repacking and so on. Children as young as 2 years old love to participate in these simple daily practices and they will develop into daily routines also carried out by teenagers … if maintained!

Getting enough sleep is very important, when your child starts in a new setting the emotional stress will tire him out, ensure early bedtime routines are maintained, to help your child meet the demands the stress it will place on her mind and body.

Seychelles NATION: What about babies starting at child-minders?

Lucy Barois: One of the worst days in my life was when I had to leave my precious baby to return to work. Having the courage to trust your baby in someone else’s care involves emotional heartache for all. It is therefore extremely important to prepare yourself and your baby very, very carefully. Research shows that babies are intuitive; they can easily feel our moods and emotions. If you are anxious about handing your baby over to someone else, they will feel it too and respond accordingly.

Number 1 – ensure you are totally comfortable with the person you are handing your baby over to, spend time at the child-minders at different parts of the day, to understand their routines and practices. Share your own routines with the carer; how your baby likes to sleep, feed, play and their normal sleeping times. The child-minder needs to be adaptable to the baby’s needs at the same time helping them develop healthy routines such as the ability to self-soothe and be alone as well as respond positively towards people and situations.

Number 2 – ensure your baby has a comforter which smells of you. Tiny babies do not understand the concept of ‘object permanence’ and will believe that if they cannot see you, you do not exist anymore. Cuddling an object which reminds them of you can help ease this pain for them.

Number 3 – create positive routines, helping your baby to know and understand what will happen next by giving them clues will help them to feel more secure. This can be through packing the same bag together, to go to the child-minder, taking the same route to get there, greet the child’s principle carer by her name, tell your baby that you are going to work and will be back to collect him later, even tiny babies can understand this early on if you create the right routine. Hand him over gently and slowly, say good-bye and leave. This is so hard to do in practice, but if you trust the carer and have already built up a positive relationship and openly demonstrate this in front of your child your mornings will be easier.

Number 4 – ensure your baby has all she needs for the day. There will be enough new experiences without unnecessary change in milk formula, clothing, towels etc. Tiny babies are very sensitive to smells and textures, they will know if items are not their own and can become easily upset when these are different to what they are used to.

Seychelles NATION: What about toddlers and transitioning to day-care/preschool

Lucy Barois: Much of the same applies to this age group but your toddler will be very much more aware of the imminent change through conversations. It is normal for a toddler to experience strong separation anxiety during the first few weeks of day-care. A positive approach is therefore imperative, never speak negatively about your child’s carer or day-care in front of your child, they will pick up on it immediately. Expect a transitional period and inform your office/work place so they may be able to allow for this. In this way you will be able to drop off your child without rushing for the first few days.

Be sure that you know exactly who will be taking care of your child and make sure she knows her before the first day of school. Ensure the carer knows what your child likes and dislikes, this can also be communicated in the My First Profile document, provided by the Ministry of Education. Therefore the carer can read all the detailed information needed to aid a smooth transition, including developmental milestones, special preferences, and needs and etc.

Ensure you attend any meetings offered by the day-care, as they are planned to share important information about the setting. Find some books to read to your child about starting school, this can initiate discussion about shared feelings and expectations.

If you know some of the other parents who have children at the same day-care, why not organise a gathering at the playground or beach, so the children can have some time to get to know one another, in this way your child will be greeted by a familiar face when she arrives at day-care.

Ensure you always say goodbye, NEVER sneak out, it will only create unpredictability and cause your child to mistrust you next time you bring her to day-care.  And the golden rule is not to bribe your child by offering her a gift or special snack when you come to pick her up, you will be amazed how many parents resort to this, to compensate their guilty feelings for leaving their child.

Help prepare your child by nurturing independence at home, allow them to try to feed themselves, even if it is messy.  Having the skills to feed herself from a young age will be welcomed by her carer and develop her self-esteem.  Taking your child out to public places, meeting new people and exposure to various situations can also help a toddler learn how to manage new circumstances, sharing thoughts and ideas, feelings and expectations all help.

To make sure your child has the skills to be independent at school you could;

• Buy shoes that are easy to put on by themselves
• Let your child get dressed by herself at home
• Involve your child in simple chores at home, such as setting the table
• Encourage independent toileting and hand washing
• Let your child play independently on activities such as puzzles and construction
• Ensure she can walk independently into the setting carrying her own school bag (practice this around town, you will be amazed how much easier it will be to expect your child to walk into day-care with pride)

Transition into preschool or primary school

School readiness is a phrase used to describe the skills children need in order to succeed at school.  The soft skills include social skills, ability to manage emotions effectively, to display empathy towards others, good communication, problem solving skills, perseverance, creativity and innovation as well as many more.  These are indeed skills to help your child move forward in life, not just at school, but should be developed at home as well.  The hard or academic skills children need to enter primary school refer to the knowledge and skills needed to learn within a classroom setting; the ability to play co-operatively with other children, show interest in reading and books, display an ability to work out problems to attain a conclusion, be able to hold a pencil effectively, and participate fairly in play board games.

Come on parents, I challenge you to prepare your children in such a way from the start, so that they can succeed to reach their greatest potential.

An interesting article to read

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2005/oct/02/childrensservices.familyandrelationships

Compiled by Vidya Gappy